the perfect boyfriend jeans (you’re welcome)

In my entire adult life, I have owned two pairs of jeans that I really and truly loved. The first was a pair of button-fly Ralph Lauren jeans that my mom bought me during my freshman year of college; I wore them until they literally fell to pieces, about half way through graduate school (which was seriously like eight years later). I mourned them for years, because they were truly the best jeans ever.

#getdressedThen, about six years ago, I found another pair of perfect jeans, at the Gap. This pair are distressed boyfriend jeans, and they’re the exact right combination of slouchy and tailored. They’re also 100% cotton, which is hard to find any more.

For six years, I have been babying these jeans, washing them inside out in cold water and line drying them because I cannot replace them and I do not want them to shrink or fall apart.

Unfortunately, the Gap redesigned their boyfriend jeans after I bought mine, replacing the slightly baggy, slightly worn style with “sexy” and “girlfriend” versions, both of which are cut slimmer and cropped and don’t look at all like they might have been swiped from anyone’s boyfriend. I’ve tried all the various iterations of the boyfriend jean, at Gap and Banana Republic and Old Navy and any other place I could think of, but without any luck.

Until now.

The Gap has reintroduced their 1969 authentic boyfriend jeans in medium vintage and I’m pretty damn sure they’re the same cut and style as the pair I have been lovingly line drying for six years. The authentic boyfriend jeans have a longer rise and looser cut and — best of all — they don’t have a bit of lycra or elastane or anything at all that isn’t cotton.

Boyfriend jeans should not need any stretch, you all. That’s just logical.

the perfect jeans? quite possibly

I’m so excited about these jeans, and I have all my fingers crossed that they really are the same as the pair I own; I could really use another pair of jeans, but I don’t want anything skinny or slim. I want exactly what I already have (because change is bad, you all!).

(Wait, that’s not right. But you know what I mean.)

Unfortunately, the 1969 authentic boyfriend jeans are not available in a store anywhere near me, so I’m waiting for a really sweet online deal at the Gap before I order a pair. I’m assuming that I will wear the same size I wore last time I bought slouchy boyfriend jeans, but if this is your first pair, I would suggest ordering multiple sizes to be sure you get the right fit. (I find the Gap’s sizing to be pretty inconsistent, and by “pretty inconsistent” I mean “COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY INCONSISTENT OMG” — I own Gap pants in at least four different sizes, depending on the cut and style, and in every single case I had to try things on in the store to figure out what size really worked. It’s a little infuriating, honestly.)

Gap’s 1969 authentic boyfriend jeans are available at Gap.com for $74.95 — but seriously, I guarantee you that in the next two weeks there will be some kind of crazy sale and you will be able to get yours for a whole lot less. And then I strongly recommend that you turn them inside out when you wash them and hang them in the shower to dry and treat them with love because they will be the best jeans ever and you will want them to last for years.

The end.