Here’s a paradox for you: I love having a closet full of beautiful clothes but I hate to shop. Hate it. I don’t mind shopping for someone else — that’s fun — but shopping for myself is a pain. Especially if I’m under any pressure, like trying to find an outfit for an event.
Hate. Seriously.
Gwyneth Paltrow’s picks for fall. I wonder if she would shop for me?
Shopping stress comes from three things: not knowing what you need, not knowing what fits, and not knowing what’s out there. Here’s how to deal with those three issues and make shopping fun again. Or at least not (as) painful.
Make a list. Before you head for the mall — or that fabulous boutique — take some time to assess what you have and what you need. Set aside an afternoon or evening to try on everything in your closet and see what’s missing and what needs to be replaced — and what’s working. Once you hit the stores, don’t buy anything that’s not on your list but do make an effort to find the things you need. A little bit of shopping now can mean less shopping — and less stress — later.
Identify your brands. I shop almost exclusively at J. Crew and the Gap, because I know that their clothes will work for me; they’re the right size and shape, the right price point, and the right style. I know that what I buy will work with what I own, which means that I don’t have to shop for entire outfits. I’m also familiar with the layout of the stores, which means less time wasted looking for specific things.
Preshop the Internet. Once you know what brands work for you, take some time to browse their websites. I find this significantly less stressful than actually going to the store, for a lot of reasons: I don’t have to park my car or dodge overly helpful salespeople or smell the in-store perfume. It’s also helpful for me to know what’s available before I commit to a trip to the mall. I still like to see everything in person and try it on in the dressing room, but a little preview takes my stress level down significantly.
Know your shopping style. Some people really benefit from shopping with another person — a spouse or trusted friend. I’m a lone shopper; while I don’t dislike going shopping with other people, I would rather be on my own. In fact, if I’m with other people, I prefer to be shopping for them, not for me. (I also prefer to run alone, so make of that what you will.) Do whatever makes you comfortable, though — if you need a cheerleader or some moral support or just someone to make you laugh, take a friend. If you don’t want to hear any voices besides the one in your head, strike out alone.
Double check the return policy. Most stores these days have pretty generous return policies, particularly if you’re shopping at a big chain. Keep your receipts, and leave the tags on everything for a few days after you buy. If you change your mind about something, don’t be afraid to take it back — no harm done.
What are your strategies for making shopping less stressful?
Photo via J. Crew
I hate shopping too. But I love new clothes.
I always shop with someone else who has a similar distaste (my sister).
We always break for snacks (low blood sugar = meltdown).
I don’t know how I found your blog, but I did. And now I’m laughing because last week I wrote a post about how I hated to go shopping. I even graded the various stores that I visited.
I would of been much better off by using your suggestions. Obviously I didn’t have them then, but will abide by them in the future.
Yes, I think one of my problems is that I shop so seldom that I don’t know which stores are “mine,” or what sizes I wear in them. I might drag one of my friends with me specifically to check out J Crew, Gap, BRepublic, and Loft. Wish there was a Boden store! (Without a chaperone I will leave within ten minutes, or spend the entire time in the Mens department picking out great things for my husband!)
I am genuinely shocked that you also don’t like shopping for yourself! And makes me realize that I just have. to. do. it.
I love shopping- it’s just the way I was raised. My mom is certainly not girly, and about as low-maintenance as you can get, but she and I have always had a blast shopping together. I think our trick is great company, and not taking the endeavor too seriously.
Your advice is spot-on, and even though I always enjoy company while shopping, knowing your own “shopping style” is probably most important.
I’d add that to avoid some of the stressors you mentioned, find local stores that fit your sense of style. They are probably more expensive (and I’m a clearance girl myself), but it’s much more enjoyable to shop when you can walk through a downtown or shopping district with a cup of coffee instead of feeling like a herd animal at the mall. Local retailers usually man their own shop, too, so you can start a friendly chat- by getting to know them, you can become aware of sales, new arrivals, and ask for help with a specific item. You might not find something everytime you’re in a small store, but at least you’re not lost in a sea of denim.
Sarah, that is some brilliant advice. Thank you!
Susan–
What months do you find best to shop for key fall/spring pieces?
Warmly,
Caroline
I’m a big, big believer in browsing online first. For one, I can see what’s in and if there’s something I love, I just walk up to a sales person and ask for it. The other really important reason, though, is to read reviews, particularly on fit. If something is tight on your average gal through the shoulders or thighs, I know not to bother. If it runs small, I know to grab a size up before I hit the dressing room, because one of the worst things for me is having a dressing room full of clothes that make me feel bad about my weight. And if everyone loves it, I know I’d better check it out RIGHT NOW before it sells out!
Great advice. My problem though, is that I always make a list but can never find the things on it! I am not being overly-specificin my wishlist; I often look for basics such as a plain black A-line skirt, for instance, or a good quality black cardigan. I can never find them when I need them. I am discovering, as I get older (early 40s) that I’m not interested in teenage fashion, but I’m not into the mumsy style that’s marketed to ‘mature’ women either. As a consequence, I hate shopping.